Ioana B.

20 something girl who writes about music, beauty, fashion, eating and traveling. I mostly write about those feelings I cannot express or say out loud. For me, writing is not only a hobby, but one of the things that keep me sane and down to Earth. The other one is music 😶

Category: Poems Page 2 of 3

13. Light one up

Let’s light one up,
I said,
looking at the beautiful stranger
standing right in front of me,
holding a pack of cigarettes.

I have a cold heart,
but you look like someone
that could warm me up,
set me on fire
and then break my heart.

12. Hardest thing to forget

I was sure
you wouldn’t undestand what my name is,
he said
the night we met.

Who would have then guessed
that soon,
it would be stuck
in my head so deep
it would become the hardest thing to forget.

11. Two strangers

Maybe
it would have been better
for the both of us
if that November night
we had remained
two strangers for each other.

Maybe
it would have been better
if you had remained
just an annoying guy
in a pair of blue jeans
and a black t-shirt,
who I thought
I would never see again.

And maybe
it would have been better
if I
would have remained
just a fun girl
smiling on the outside,
while I was dying on the inside.

10. Shut ourselves from feelings

That morning
you made me remember
why I had
shut myself
from feelings.

I suddenly
went back in time,
years before,
when mom and dad
had their first and only fight.

Or maybe,
their first and only fight
in front of me.

I suddenly remembered
that was the night
I had my first panic attack.

I suddenly remembered
that was the night
I first felt how feeling nothing
and feeling everything at the same time
felt like.

I suddenly remembered
crying
out loud,
while hopping
all the screaming would eventually end,
without them
putting an end to being together.

I suddenly remembered
searching for my breath
and almost falling out the window,
as I was trying
to reach for fresh air.

I suddenly remembered
losing my voice,
after trying hard
not to say something
that could make things worse.

I suddenly remembered
the view I had in front of my eyes,
while contemplating
about forever putting an end
to all the feels.

I suddenly remembered
what having no feelings felt like,
and not a single part of me
ever wanted to go back
to feeling nothing.

So,
that morning
I did
what I had done that night.

I just sat there,
listening,
not knowing what to say
and how to deal
with what I was feeling.

When I looked you in the eyes,
I suddenly saw myself
and I realized
that you were just
as afraid of feelings,
as I was that one night.

9. Home

For the first time
in a long time,
I felt like my house
was a home.

I felt like
you were a home.

Too bad
sometimes things don’t work out
the way you want them to,
so you have to move out
and move on.

8. Gin tonic

So, what will it be,
he asked,
while looking at me
with his dark black eyes.

Uhm, a Gin Tonic,
I replied shortly,
without even realizing
the words that were coming
out of my mouth.

I always order
a fucking Cuba Libre.

7. Lost and found

I walked in,
as I always do,
just looking for you,
but you
weren’t there.

I felt like
one of those kids
that gets lost,
yet somehow is not scared.

Deep down,
that kid knows
everything will be alright
and his parents will eventually find him.

I did feel
empty
and alone,
even though I was surrounded
by a crowd of people,
and also a few familiar faces.

I had no idea why
this was happening to me,
or why I was feeling
how I was feeling,
but for a moment there
I panicked.

All I could do
was think to myself:
what if you left,
to never come back?

What if
I were to never
see you
ever again?

What if
you just left
without a warning,
or without even
saying goodbye?

Then I
turned around
and saw your face.

All of a sudden,
I felt really happy
and relieved,
as I had never
ever felt
in my whole life.

That’s when
I knew.

I knew that
I was
fucked,
for good.

That was the moment
I just knew
there was no way
I could ever
give up on you.

6. Eternity

Don’t ask me
how I feel about you,
because I don’t know if
you are ready
to hear my answear.

Truth is,
you are
the only person
I would
happily spend my eternity
in heaven with,
as well as I would
happily spend it in hell.

5. Fire inside of me

I don’t know if you
will ever love me
as much as I love you.

I don’t know if you
will ever love me
half as much as I love you.

I don’t even know if you
will ever even love me at all.

Even so,
you started a fire inside of me,
that’s burning brighter and brighter day by day.

Yet somehow,
instead of killing me,
the fire inside is making me feel
more alive, than I ever felt.

4. A shot of Jagermeister

This is in case
you were wondering
why I gave you
that shot of Jagermeister.

I literally
gave you a fucking shot.

That was me,
trying to let you know that,
no matter what happens,
you will always
have a shot with me.

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