Ioana B.

20 something girl who writes about music, beauty, fashion, eating and traveling. I mostly write about those feelings I cannot express or say out loud. For me, writing is not only a hobby, but one of the things that keep me sane and down to Earth. The other one is music 😶

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20. It isn’t enough

I love you more
than I ever loved myself.

In the end,
it still
isn’t enough.

19. Do you ever feel lonely?

That morning
you asked me
if I ever feel lonely
and I said I don’t.

Now I ask you:
can one truly feel lonely,
when one has been
nothing but lonely
for most of ones life?

18. Don’t, replied your voice

That morning
you told me
you were leaving,
and I let you go.

I let you go
not because I didn’t care
about you,
us,
or what had just happened
between us.

I let you go
because I cared too much,
but you were too blind
and too loud
to hear what my heart
had been showing
and telling you
all this time.

I like you,
said my heart.

Don’t,
replied your voice,
running through my head.

17. Bitter sweet kiss

That morning
you kissed me on the lips,
right before you walked out my door.

That was
the most bitter sweet kiss
of my entire life.

Not because you were leaving,
but because a part of me
felt like this was going to be
the last time you’d ever
kiss me.

16. Different

Sometimes,
not that often lately,
I think about you
and wonder.

I wonder if things
could have gone different
between the two of us
if that morning
I had done something
to make you stay.

Then I remind myself,
I did try to keep you from leaving.

But you were too loud
to hear my soul.

And my mouth was too tired
of always having to speak louder.

15. The most beautiful person on Earth

Like I told you
so many other times,
I saw something in you
when I first noticed
your face.

I saw beauty,
and it had nothing to do
with your pretty face.

I saw beauty
deep inside your soul.

… or so I thought.

Too bad
it was probably just my imagination
playing games with me,
just like you did.

There was nothing deep
about your beauty,
just as there
was never something deep
about the way you felt about me.

Not that night we first met,
November 17th.

Not that other night,
two weeks later,
when you first kissed me
on the cheek.

And especially,
not that morning
you came over to my place
to talk,
but we ended up having sex.

Too bad
your beauty only existed
inside of my head.

Your beauty only existed
because my fucking mind
built you up to be
the most beautiful person on Earth,
while you did nothing
but show me your ugly side.

14. Never came to stay

That morning
I suddenly understood that
you came in my life
out of nowhere,
right when I needed you
the most.

Too bad
that for a moment,
I was too blind to see
that you never came to stay.

13. Light one up

Let’s light one up,
I said,
looking at the beautiful stranger
standing right in front of me,
holding a pack of cigarettes.

I have a cold heart,
but you look like someone
that could warm me up,
set me on fire
and then break my heart.

12. Hardest thing to forget

I was sure
you wouldn’t undestand what my name is,
he said
the night we met.

Who would have then guessed
that soon,
it would be stuck
in my head so deep
it would become the hardest thing to forget.

11. Two strangers

Maybe
it would have been better
for the both of us
if that November night
we had remained
two strangers for each other.

Maybe
it would have been better
if you had remained
just an annoying guy
in a pair of blue jeans
and a black t-shirt,
who I thought
I would never see again.

And maybe
it would have been better
if I
would have remained
just a fun girl
smiling on the outside,
while I was dying on the inside.

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